Life

Lately, I've been following that saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Therefore, I haven't been doing much blogging. I've got fun stuff and cute pictures to post, but am lacking what it takes to do it!

My memory could very well be failing me, but I don't remember the other two pregnancies feeling THIS challenging. I actually feel like someone took a hose and sucked every single thing out of me, and now all that's left is a shell. I "only" have three months left, and really, that's not too bad. I'm not in a hurry for her to get here. I know the reality of it. I'm excited to meet her, but this is also my third, so it's no longer a fairytale of wondering what life will be like with three kids. I've got plenty of things to keep me busy these next three months, softball, dance, Harmony, appointments, Lyric's little surgery, Mike's birthday, my birthday, Jordyn's baptism, starting swim team, the dance recital, and the list goes on. I'm grateful for these things that help me stay a little distracted from my brain.

I'm not to the point of feeling way uncomfortable yet, although I think I look ridiculously big. Everyday just feels so taxing to just exist! I feel like it takes everything in my power to make it through the day. I'm past the physical sickness, so I can't really complain about that. It's just now more mental and emotional, I guess. I would like to avoid human life at all costs for the next three months! I despise the phone, I struggle getting to church and doing my calling, I struggle going to the grocery store! I just want to be a hermit, yet that doesn't make me feel good either!

I think the most challenging part right now is being a good mom. Some days I feel like my kids are reverting a few years! Granted, Paxton is only 2 1/2. On Monday, Paxton got my laptop and decided to take about ten keys off of the keyboard, just for fun, not cause he's interested in how things work! Then he found my Weight Watchers calculator and thought it'd be fun to break it into about four pieces. Then, that evening they were getting ready for baths. He ran into Lyric's room and peed on the floor. When I asked him why he did that, he said, "Cause I wanted to." Alrighty, then!

Tuesday morning my FIVE year old found a pair of scissors and decided her and her brother needed a haircut. I almost lost it! She cut off enough hair to make a wig for a little kid! Thank goodness Paxton's isn't too noticeable, because of his curls. Unfortunately, Lyric's makes me want to cry! She cut the sides so it cannot go into a ponytail. All I can really do is put it half up. If I left it down, it'd look a little like a mullet on the sides! But hair grows, right!?!?!

I know all of those things feel twenty times bigger than they really are to me right now. I know I'm not the only human on this earth to feel this way while pregnant. I know all of these things logically, just somehow, right smack in the middle of it, it feels really hard to remember that! I feel like putting an "Out of Order" sign on my forehead for the next while! But, life goes on, this is a phase, and I will make it through the other side, hopefully :)